Allow The Father To Discipline

By Tarley Collins

August 2024

I’ve seen many loving mothers step in with good intentions, trying to protect their children from being corrected. It often sounds like, “He’s just a child,” or “Don’t be so hard on him.” In the moment, it feels like love. But over time, that protection turns into permission. Children begin to talk back, ignore instructions, and push boundaries.

Proverbs 13:1 “A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke.”

The Bible calls children to listen to their father’s instruction and correction through discipline. When mothers consistently stop a father’s instruction and discipline, this not only encourages disrespect but also weakens the father’s role in guiding the family.

God’s Modeled For Discipline

Proverbs 1:8,9 “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck.”

Mothers, on average, are more sensitive to emotional cues such as tone of voice, facial expressions, fear, distress, and vulnerability. This natural sensitivity often leads them to respond with nurture, reassurance, and emotional support.

For this reason, she disciplines from a place of nurture and emotional care. She is quick to see the child’s feelings, fear, or vulnerability. This is a beautiful strength God placed within mothers. A mother’s discipline often asks, “How does my child feel right now?”

Fathers, on average, are more inclined toward rule-setting, structure, and consequence-based correction. This helps children learn limits, accountability, and self-control.

Fathers on the other hand often discipline from a place of order, responsibility, and boundaries. He focuses on actions, consequences, and lessons. His correction helps children see respect for authority, and to take responsibility for their behavior. A father’s discipline often asks, “What lesson must be learned here?”

This doesn’t mean mothers don’t value discipline, or fathers don’t care about feelings. It means they often start from different angles. Child-development studies consistently show that mothers tend to emphasize emotional safety and connection, while fathers tend to emphasize challenge, limits, and responsibility.

God designed mothers and fathers to discipline differently, not because one is better than the other, but because children need both. He designed the home to function with balance in the discipline and upbringing of children.

How Mothers Can Help

When a father is silenced, children often grow bolder, testing limits and challenging boundaries. When his discipline is removed, disorder and disrespect can increase in the home.

The Bible gives a serious example of this in 1 Samuel 3:13–14

“For I have told him that I will judge his house for ever for the iniquity which he knoweth; because his sons made themselves vile, and he restrained them not. And I have sworn unto the house of Eli, that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be purged with sacrifice nor offering for ever.”

Eli knew of his sons’ sinful behavior but failed to restrain them, and God held him accountable. This story illustrates the importance of a father’s loving authority in guiding and correcting his children.

When it comes to putting things in order in the home, God calls the father to take responsibility. In Isaiah 38:1, we see this principle: “In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came unto him, and said unto him, Thus saith the LORD, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live.”

God instructed Hezekiah, the father and king, to set his house in order because it was his responsibility to lead and organize his household. This reminds us that fathers are called to lead, guide, and prepare their homes, both spiritually and practically.

As a mother, it is important to recognize and respect this authority. Supporting your husband in his God-given role helps create unity, order, and a stable environment for the children.

This doesn’t mean your voice isn’t important. Your wisdom, guidance, and care are essential but when correction or instruction is needed, let him play his part. Together, you provide both love and structure, teaching your children obedience, respect, responsibility, and security.

Allow The Father to Discipline

As a mother, you can play a vital role because your husband may not always get it right. But how you step in and when you step in is very important.

Make Correction in Private. There may be times when you feel your husband did not handle a discipline situation well. You may notice his tone was too harsh, the timing was off, or the consequence didn’t fit the situation. Wanting to help or clarify is not wrong. Correcting your husband in front of the children weakens his leadership and sends the message that his authority can be questioned. Children quickly pick up on this and may begin to disrespect, ignore, or challenge the father’s correction.

Speak With Respect and Calm. As the Bible says in Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath.”

Present a United Front. Even if you disagree in the moment, support your husband in front of the children. Unity gives children security and clear boundaries. Differences can be discussed later, but discipline should appear consistent and agreed upon.

Trust the Father’s Role. God has given the father a responsibility to instruct and discipline. Allowing him to step into that role helps relieve pressure from you and brings balance to the home. Trust does not mean silence it means partnership.

Add Nurture After Discipline. After correction, mothers often play a powerful role by offering reassurance and comfort. This helps children process discipline without resentment and reinforces love alongside accountability.

Pray Together About Discipline. When parents pray together about how to guide their children, wisdom increases and conflict decreases. Prayer keeps discipline from becoming emotional and helps both parents stay aligned.