Helping Your Wife Around The House

By Tarley Collins

May 2023

Galatians 6:2 “Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

Marriage was never meant to feel lonely, stressful or frustrating especially at home. Yet many wives quietly carry the weight of the household while still loving, serving, and showing up every day.

God’s design for marriage is not silent endurance by one spouse, but a home where burdens are shared, compassion leads, responsibility is mutual, and life is carried together in love.

God’s Design for the Home

God has called the husband and the wife to carry life together. Where the mistake is made is when tasks are labeled as “his role” or “her role.” This mindset often keeps the other spouse from stepping in and sharing the responsibility, simply because they believe it is not their role.

God never intended for the home to be run based on what society call "his roles", and "her role" but simply on grace, truth, love, and compassion.

God designed the home to be a place where grace and compassion rule. Where burdens are shared and carried together, not where rigid roles decide who does what. When God speaks about bearing burdens, He is speaking to you as a husband and a father, calling you to truly see your wife, to recognize when life feels heavy for her, and to choose love over the mindset of, “That’s not my role.”

When everything is filtered through “That’s not my role”, we stop asking the most important question “How can I help the person I love right now?”

Scripture never teaches that marriage is a contract of divided duties. Marriage is a covenant of shared life. When one spouse is overwhelmed, tired, or stretched thin, love does not quote job descriptions, love steps in.

Too often we hear that household chores, taking care of the children, changing diapers, running errands for the house, and keeping up with the kids’ school responsibilities are considered ‘her role.’ This imbalance is one of the leading reasons many women feel alone in their marriage, even when their spouse is physically present.

Grace, truth, love, and compassion should guide everything we do in our homes. Compassion, for example, will prompt you to take the initiative, even in tasks your wife normally handles, because you recognize the weight she carries and want to lighten her load without being asked.

1 Thessalonians 5:11 says: “Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.” This verse calls husbands and wives to build each other up through encouragement, support, and practical action.

One of the most powerful ways you can edify your wife is by sharing the burdens of the home. When you steps in to help with chores, childcare, errands, or school responsibilities, you are not only showing love but also strengthening her emotionally and spiritually.

By sharing these responsibilities:

You comfort her, showing her she is not alone in the work of running the household.
You edify her, demonstrating respect for her efforts and valuing her well-being.
You build partnership, modeling a Christ-centered marriage where burdens are shared, not borne alone.

Helping with home responsibilities is not just about completing tasks, it is an act of love that uplifts, encourages, and strengthens your wife, fulfilling the call to edify one another.

Become The Servant Leader

Speaking about the Lord Jesus Christ, the Bible says in Matthew 20:28: “Even as the Son of man came not to be ministered unto, but to minister, and to give his life a ransom for many.” Because of this example, as head and leader of the home you must also be a servant within the home.

Matthew 23:11 says: “But he that is greatest among you shall be your servant.” Therefore, a good leader is one who serves the people he leads. This is what truly makes a leader a leader, you provide a service for your entire family.

When you help with bedtime, homework, baths, school runs, or emotional check-ins, you are not simply babysitting you are fathering, guiding, and leading through love and service. Serving your family daily builds trust, strengthens bonds, and sets an example that your children will carry into their own lives.

Ways you Can Help Around the House

Ask and Listen

Ask your wife what she needs help with when she’s cooking, cleaning, bathing the kids, or managing other daily tasks.
Listen attentively and act on her response instead of assuming what she needs.

Give Her Space to Reset

If you see that she’s juggling multiple responsibilities, offer to take the kids out for a walk, a park visit, or a short activity so she can have time alone to rest and recharge.

Participate in Chores

Help with laundry, dishes, vacuuming, and general tidying.
Take initiative in areas she usually handles, showing compassion and grace without waiting to be asked.

Assist with Children’s Routines

Take part in bedtime routines, homework supervision, bath time, and preparing children for school.
Attend school events, parent-teacher meetings, or extracurricular activities with the kids.

Plan and Prepare Meals Together

Assist with cooking or meal prep.
Clean up the kitchen afterward, even if she cooked.

Emotional Support

Check in regularly with your wife to see how she’s feeling.
Offer encouragement and affirm her efforts; validate her work and contributions to the family

Organize and Plan

Help create schedules for the children, grocery shopping, or household tasks.
Anticipate needs so that she isn’t constantly managing everything alone.

Small Acts of Service Daily

Bring her a glass of water, handle small errands, or surprise her with a clean space or a folded load of laundry.
Serve in ways that show love, not obligation.

Remember that your role as head of the home is to serve, as the Bible has called us to be like Christ.