Married Lonely Mom

By Tarley Collins

June 2023

Gensis 2:24 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

To cleave means to adhere to, to stick to, to join closely, and to remain forever connected in a purposeful partnership with shared responsibilities.

Yet deep inside, you feel alone in ways you never expected. You share a home and a life, but often carry the weight by yourself. Hoping for partnership, longing to feel truly joined, not just married in name, but united in the everyday moments. What you’re desiring isn’t unreasonable; you’re simply longing for a partner who shares the responsibilities of building and maintaining the home with you.

When Marriage Feels Lonely

You wake up each day knowing the list of responsibilities that no one else seems to notice: the meals, school schedules, laundry, dirty diapers, a house to clean, errands to run, the emotional care of the children, and the prayers for your family’s hearts and souls, the list that never ends. Even when your husband is present, you still feel alone because the weight of the home often rests on your shoulders.

You have learned to hold everything together when no one else will. You have become the anchor of your home the one who remembers, organizes, plans, and cares for every detail. That strength is real, and it is remarkable.

You may find yourself thinking, “I shouldn’t feel this way. Other people have it worse. I should be grateful.” So, you silence the feeling and keep going. But loneliness doesn’t disappear just because it’s ignored, it settles quietly and grows heavier over time.

Feeling lonely in marriage does not mean you don’t love your husband. It does not mean you regret your family.

And it does not mean you are failing as a wife or a mother. It simply means a part of you is longing for connection, partnership, and shared weight the very things marriage was designed to provide.

Carrying the Weight of the Household

No one praises the mother who remembers every detail, anticipates every need, and holds the family together without complaint. Yet the cost is real: exhaustion, stress, and the quiet ache of longing for someone to see you not just as capable, but as human.

Being responsible is not a flaw, it is a gift. But when responsibility is unshared, it can become a heavy burden. The household is meant to be a place of partnership, support, and shared care, not a test of endurance.

Ecclesiastes 4:9, “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour."

God has made it clear in his word that two are better than one. That is why He designed marriage to be a partnership. He never intended for you to bear all the weight alone.

Loving Your Family While Feeling Empty

You love your children. You love your husband. You show up every day, give your time, your energy, and your heart. And yet… sometimes your love feels like a well that’s running dry. You can give endlessly, but inside, a quiet emptiness lingers.

Loving your family while feeling empty is exhausting, isolating, and sometimes even confusing because your heart longs to nurture, but also longs to be nurtured in return.

It’s okay to acknowledge that tension. It’s okay to admit I’m tired, I need help and I want to feel seen and supported.

Loving your family doesn’t require that you ignore your own needs. In fact, God designed our hearts to give and receive. When one side is missing, when we give but rarely receive, it’s natural to feel empty. Recognizing this emptiness is not failure; it is awareness. And awareness is the first step toward healing, connection, and restoration.

The Strength That Costs You

It’s important to know: your strength is a gift, but it was never meant to be a replacement for partnership. God never intended for one person to carry the household alone. Your ability to endure should not become a reason to remain unsupported.

Your endurance is a gift, but it was never meant to replace partnership. Being strong does not mean you cannot ask for help, rest, or emotional support. Acknowledging this does not make you weak it makes you human. And being human means you are allowed to need, hope, and receive.

Asking for help

Here are some gentle ways to ask for help:

Share how you feel using “I” statements: “I’m feeling overwhelmed and could use your support with…”
Be specific about what you need: “Could you take over the bedtime routine tonight?”
Invite collaboration, not criticism: “Let’s plan this together so it’s easier for both of us.”

Even when your husband does not step in right away to help. I want you to know that God sees your heart and your effort. You are not invisible. Trust that God, in His perfect timing, will bring the necessary changes. Keep leaning on Him, keep trusting Him, and know that your faithfulness is never unnoticed.

You are not responsible for changing your husband’s heart that work belongs to God. Your responsibility is to remain honest, faithful, and rooted in Him. Trust that God, in His own time, will bring the necessary changes whether through growth, awareness, softened hearts, or new understanding. Keep leaning on Him. Keep trusting Him. Your faithfulness is never wasted.

Seeking Biblical Guidance

If you have asked for help with sincerity and patience, and the weight still remains heavy, it may be time to invite outside support. Seeking biblical counseling is not a sign of failure, it is a sign of wisdom. Biblical counseling provides a safe, guided space where conversations can happen with clarity, care, and understanding. Sometimes a neutral, trained voice helps uncover patterns, improve communication, and create pathways forward that feel impossible to navigate alone.

Seeking biblical counsel does not mean you have lost faith in God. Often, it is one of the ways God provides help. Scripture reminds us that there is wisdom in seeking counsel, and healing often begins when support is welcomed rather than avoided.